Ash Wednesday

I needed to go to church. After all that's been happening to me lately, I badly need to get some divine guidance. I almost forgot that it is Ash Wednesday today. The day that marks the start of Lent. I quickly got off the bed, took a shower and put on a shirt and a pair of jeans. It was half past seven at night when I left home. It only took me fifteen minutes to get to the nearest church - Saint Andrew's Cathedral. I am not the most religious person you'll ever meet but, I sure know how to pray. Plus, I fear God. And, when I have something bothering me, that I can't tell my parents or my colleagues, I talk to God.

The church is almost filled with people on all walks of life, but most of the crowd are students, still in their uniforms. Probably from the school across the street. I scan the place, looking for a vacant seat I can take, not far from where I was standing, I saw one. I still have some time to talk to God while the mass hasn't started yet.

Sorry. It's been a while.

I got too busy thinking of other things.

and oh, thanks. Sending me angels every now and then,

It really helps me a lot.

and I hope I've done my job being other's angel as well.

Right before I start asking about guidance, the mass started. I took the mass as usual, and then when the priest started talking about the disciplines needed taken this Lent, my whole attention was caught. Sharing. Sacrifice. Prayer.

Sharing. A word that I forgot what the real meaning is. I share but have I shared enough? what's right? with the right one?

Sacrifice. The priest asked about fasting. It's not about the food, it's not all about the food. It was leaning away from the human pleasures that you enjoy the most. It made me think, does it mean materials things in life? or could it be people as well? people you enjoy being with? Individuals that you look forward to everyday? Temptation to whatever sins the devil has prepared for you? What am I willing to sacrifice?

Prayer. Whenever you feel that temptation is just in front of you, ready for you to grab it, hold your hands together and pray. The priest said, "Remember, the devil will do everything to tempt you. and you cannot fight alone, you need God by your side, the only way to ask help is to pray"

That's it. I always thought I am alone.

That I am so little in this huge world.

I forgot I have God with me.

I know what I'll sacrifice. and I'll hold onto it

not just to show that I have discipline.

This is to show that I am no pushover

I can be firm and I can stand by my decision.

I left the church with my questions answered. Most of the time, the world gives you just a gist of everything. It wouldn't tell you all, it's up for you to find out. The world has no place for cowards. You can be afraid but, you should avoid being coward. People can be so mean sometimes, you wouldn't see it unless you open your eyes. Because most of the time, we are blinded by whatever expectations we have. They can be so mean not because its their nature, it's because we let them do this to us. And I'm tired of it.

I got home with a smile on my face, God never failed to answer my questions every time. Which brings me to a line I once heard inside the church,

"When you asked for something, the Lord will not give it to you instantly. Instead, He will give you a chance, for you to get it. Now, it's up to you how you will achieve your desire."